Today, I thought to share some of the most useful self-management techniques I have been personally trying out as a Leadership Coach and have found them to be extremely effective in managing emotions leading to a calm and happy state even when things don’t go as expected.
I am sharing these practical insights with you so you, too, can implement them in your life and experience the magic.
Reframe the Situation – Great Self Management Skill
Shit Happens! The point is you can’t control everything which comes into your life, but you can control how you react to it. One of the ways you can build a more positive perspective is by Reframing the Situation in 2 ways. a) Content Reframe –
You think of the situation from a more positive perspective (give it a positive spin) and b) Context Reframe — You think of how the situation can benefit you in a future context.
Self Management Examples
Let me give you an example — Let’s say you are pressurized at the workplace with a lot of workload coming your way in the team. You can ground yourself better to tackle the situation if you reframe the situation in 2 ways answering these questions:
Content Reframe: Have you considered that you are the smartest in the team?
Context Reframe: Have you considered that you are getting great experience that will benefit you as a Leader?
Some other simple examples: A speedy driver touches your vehicle while driving. You can tell yourself — Gosh! At least I am safe, or maybe that person had something going, and your life is easy.
Try it out. It works! 😊
New Behavior Creation
This is an interesting technique borrowed from Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP), which helps you direct your behavior. All you need to do is visualize the behavior you want in a future context, again and again, so you condition your neural pathways to stabilize that behavioral response.
It’s also called a New Behavior Generator Technique. One of the other ways you can implement this is — Think of a past situation where you exhibited that ideal behavior or imagine a role model displaying that behavior, and then future pace yourself in the future context exhibiting that behavior. You will notice that it will come easy to you when you face a real situation in the future.
Dissociate from yourself
Try speaking to yourself as a second person. Narrate your own story as if you are talking about someone else. Example: Person X is having a challenge concerning handling a team at work, and these are some of the challenges that the person has. As soon as you start speaking about your issues in a dissociated way, it changes your emotions towards it.
I once had a situation coaching one of my team members who had a conflict with a colleague related to some business decision. I did this experiment with the team member where I asked him to think of the situation from a colleague’s perspective and then from a neutral observer perspective. I could see an aha moment on his face. He realized the fault in the argument from his side with a more holistic view which he developed and took the initiative to go out and resolve the situation.
Try it out when faced with a dilemma or when you can’t get over your emotions and see the practice work magic.
Journaling – Key Technique for Self-Management
The simple act of describing one’s feelings via Journaling helps people live a happier life. Journaling is a very beneficial self-management technique, which doesn’t just enhance feelings of happiness, but reduces stress, clarifies thoughts and feelings, and ultimately helps you get to know yourself better and lead a better life!
Pro Tips: Use the below pointers to effectively practice Journaling in Day to Day Life:
- Have a Specific Routine so your mind can get tuned to the practice, preferable before sleeping so your thoughts can get consolidated while you sleep. I have seen this work for people who do it in the early morning, so pick what works for you, but be disciplined with it.
- Focus on Feelings — Expressive writing is very important while Journaling. Do it as if you are talking to yourself and let all those emotions out. You will feel lighter the moment you do it.
- Carve out 15–20 Min Daily — Park some quality time daily to do this. Minimum 15 minutes is what I would recommend basis experience.
- Dig deeper — If you come across an emotion, don’t write it at a surface level. Try to dig deeper and get to the cause of it.
- Be your therapist, but seek professional help when needed
While you can practice freestyle writing while Journaling, the below questions can help you:
- What emotions did I experience today?
- Why did I react that way? What was/were the triggers?
- What is the purpose of emotion that came up?
- After the emotion came up, what behavior did I exhibit?
- Which core value of mine got compromised?
- What did I experience physiologically and mentally?
- What was the impact of all this on me and others?
“Journal writing, when it becomes a ritual for transformation, is not only life-changing but life-expanding.” — Jen Williamson.
Slow down in Trigger Situations
Practice slowing down around situations that are triggering. By slowing down your responses and allowing your thinking brain to kick in, you allow yourself a chance to process the information and respond appropriately (vs. react emotionally.)
“Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.” — Viktor E. Frankl
It would help if you practiced slowing down in both extreme Bad and Good Moods. If you are experiencing a terrible mood, the mind will shut down on good things around you. If you are experiencing an extremely good mood, it can reduce the analysis of things, leading to an impulsive decision.
Once you master this ability to slow down in trigger situations, you will see a big change in how you manage yourself and have a very positive impact on the relationships with people you interact with.
So now you know some of the Best and Proven Techniques for Self-Management, which you can try to improve your self-management, bring a positive change in your life, and become a happier you!
Try it out, and I would be keen to hear your thoughts and feedback. 💭
To your success! 🚀
Anurag Jain
